What If We Just Trusted?

Just trustTwo things have been top of mind for me this week.

Although they are related I made a new connection this morning while out on my walk in the Chorleywood countryside (where I often get my most inspired thoughts and ideas!)

The photo on the right was taken in the woods behind my house and I just love it there, especially when the sun is shining!

First, let me tell you about the two things.

Thing #1 – What I Want (aka Dealing with my Own Sh*t!)

Earlier this week I was lamenting to my good friend and fellow coach Sandra about what a rollercoaster ride creating and growing a successful coaching practice is.

The service we provide as coaches is very much tied to our personal identities. What we deliver really is our own personal brand of expertise and experience and it’s very personal. Therefore it can be difficult to separate our business results from who we are as a person and even who we are as a coach.

I was talking about how, on the good (thinking) days I can easily accept that every action I take is a step forward for my business. Because every action provides an opportunity for learning and growth.

Even when it turns out, with the benefit of hindsight, that some of the steps weren’t the right ones. It’s all just information I can learn from and use to adjust my plan going forward. It’s all good.

And then I was complaining about how on the not-so-good (thinking) days it can feel like I’m spinning my wheels. Going in circles. Getting nowhere fast. And how frustrating that feels and how personally I take it.

On those days it’s harder, even for a coach with the amazing tool of self-coaching in her back pocket, 😉 to stay positive and focused on the goal.

What is my goal?

My goal is to support women who feel stuck, disconnected and unhappy in their marriages to create the happy, fulfilling lives and marriages they desire by giving them the tools, knowledge, self-awareness and confidence to achieve that. And to be financially successful while I do it.

Why is this important to me?

So that I can spend my time doing the work I love and feel like I was born to do. So that I feel like what I do makes a positive difference in the world.

So that I can make a good living while I do it.

So that I can connect with my clients on a deep level.

So that I can be around for my kids while I work.

So that I can experience the sense of flow that comes from living in alignment with my values.

So that I can create the lifestyle I want and provide a good life for myself and my kids.

So that I can feel happy and fulfilled in my life. And spend it being true to who I am and what I stand for.

Thing #2 – What My Clients Want for Themselves

Recently I’ve had the privilege of delivering a number of free Clarity Breakthrough Sessions to some amazing women.

What these women have in common is that they feel stuck, emotionally disconnected, unhappy, resentful, frustrated and more in their marriages.

What they also have in common is a desire to have a deep emotional connection with their partner, to feel happy, relaxed, contented, fulfilled and alive in their marriages and their lives.

To feel like they are living their best life while being true to themselves.

But some of these women are not ready to make the changes they so deeply want.

Although the stuckness and the frustration and the lack of emotional connection is painful, it is also familiar.

They know how to “do” it. And that familiarity feels safe.

And they can’t be sure of the exact outcome they will get if they decide to invest in creating change for themselves.

Will they still want to be married to their husbands afterwards?

How will their husbands react to the changes they make?

What scary steps will they have to take in order to create what they want?

Will they really feel happier, more contented, more fulfilled, at the end of it?

Will they get the specific result they envision?

They can’t be sure.

It’s all so uncertain. There are no guarantees.

And that uncertainty feels scary.

So they stay stuck. And unhappy.

What I’ve Realised About Thing #1 and my “Results”

Here’s what I realised about my results and my sh*t this morning:

The results I have already achieved because I dared to risk believing I could create a life and business I love and because I was willing to take the necessary, sometimes scary, actions to achieve it, are already off the scale.

I’m not talking about bottom line financial results here.

I’m talking about these kinds of results:

A deep knowing that I am already an excellent coach who is on the path to becoming a great coach (and that I will continue to invest in myself so that I am always working towards that next level of mastery).

A knowing that I deliver amazing value in both my paid and my free sessions for clients.

A knowing that my coaching can and does transform my clients lives for the better.

A knowing that I get up each morning feeling privileged and grateful to be doing a job I love and making a positive difference in the world.

And a knowing that I have only just begun. That there is so much more to come for me and from me.

The skills, confidence and self-belief I have achieved in just a few short years because I dared to believe this was a possibility for me is impossible to put into words.

I cannot tell you how huge it is for me to be able to say these things about who I have become on this journey.

From where I am today it is easy, and I have been guilty, of taking these results for granted.

The woman I am today is unrecognisable from the person who spent 20+ years hiding out and being invisible in the corporate world and in life.

I could not have imagined becoming the person I am today five years ago. It would have been inconceivable.

Yet these are not the results I have been focusing on or measuring my success by.

And yet these are results that no amount of financial success can buy.

So, regardless of whether I reach my financial “there” in the future, I have already succeeded.

And that knowing creates a level of lightness about my work and the perspective I hold about my future business growth that I have not felt until now.

A knowing that I will get exactly what I need from this journey.

If I just trust.

It may not be what I had envisioned. Yet it is already so much more.

How is This Connected to Thing #2 – What My Clients Want?

If you are one of those women who is afraid to commit to the uncertainty of what ‘change’ might look like for you.

If staying stuck and disconnected feels safer than risking the uncertainty of whether you will achieve the specific outcome you want.

Here’s another way to think about it.

What if you were unattached to the shape or form that creating ‘change’ might take?

What if you can’t even imagine right now the change and transformation and growth that is possible for you?

What if you trusted that you will get exactly what you need from the journey, just by being willing to risk embarking on it?

What if you were unattached to the results and instead trusted that The Universe knows exactly what you need?

What if it’s beyond anything you can even imagine from where you’re standing now?

What if you just trusted?

 

Want a Clarity Breakthrough Session?

If you would like to find out exactly what a Clarity Breakthrough Session is and how to book one you can find out here.

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2 Comments

  1. I swear you read my mind before you write these posts!

    I already know this, I just needed you to remind me. Sometimes I trust your judgement better than my own because I know you are coming from a balanced perspective while I am all “emotionally invested” in my sh*t!

    I have been metaphorically stirring a bucket of water this month. Splashing it, getting my sleeves wet and really swirling it around. And of course, as I leave it, the liquid returns to the same calm water in the bucket it was before I started! (I know what I am on about even if you don’t!) 🙂

    My point is, what if I just trusted? It was probably coming to me anyway!

  2. Thanks for your comment Lisa, I’m glad you found this post helpful.

    You’re right, sometimes we all forget to just trust ourselves. We stir up all sorts of sh*t with the stories we make up in our own minds! And yes, it makes for very murky water!

    It’s a skill to be practiced for sure. And we can all benefit from a gentle nudge that reminds us to put into practice what we already know! 😉

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