Why Should I Get Marriage Help When HE’S the Problem!?

A comment I regularly hear from women considering working
with me is some variation of:

“Why should I be the one to get help for our marriage when HE is the problem!”

“My husband is just so: Difficult to live with/selfish/boring/bad tempered/unappreciative/ impossible to talk to/fill-in-the-blank” they say.

“Why should I be the one to do all the bloody work while he does nothing?!”

My response is always the same:

It’s Not About Your Husband

You are the one who is unhappy/stuck/frustrated.

And you are the only one who can change that.

It’s not your husband’s job to make you happy.

Your happiness is your responsibility and yours alone.

Deciding to take action to change what’s not working in your life and marriage is an act of self-love.

It’s something you do for yourself.

Because, ultimately, everything is about our relationship with ourselves.

What I know for sure is that your husband isn’t the reason you’re unhappy.

How do I know this? Because happiness is an inside job.

And because I spent too many years believing that and waiting for my husband to change.

Our thoughts and beliefs create our emotions, not other people.

Always. It can’t be any other way.

Focusing our energy on what we perceive to be the problem (our husbands) is never the answer.

The root cause of our pain lies much closer to home. With us.

It’s not about what our husbands are or are not doing.

His behaviour is outside of our control.

And trying to control the uncontrollable will just make you crazy (trust me!)

The bottom line is: Transformation in your life and marriage starts with you.

Deciding to do your own work is about self-responsibility.

And it’s where all your power lays.

If that’s not reason enough, here’s what else:

When you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, sad, angry, resentful, or any other negative emotion, YOU are the one feeling it.

You are the one taking action from those feelings.

And you are the one experiencing the negative results in your life.

And those results are most likely keeping you stuck in the same negative cycle.

Telling Yourself the Truth

Admitting you’re no longer willing to tolerate the status quo is a massive step.

It’s the first step in telling yourself the truth.

It’s not an easy thing to do, I know.

But the truth always, always, feels better than the bullshit lies we tell ourselves.

Asking for support when you feel stuck and unhappy takes guts.

It takes courage because it means being vulnerable and admitting your truth to another person.

It means taking responsibility for improving your situation – and not waiting for your husband, or anybody else, to fix it for you.

It means taking 100% responsibility for your life and happiness.
Full responsibility.

It’s not for the faint of heart.

It may seem daunting.

The buck stops with you. There’s no-one else to blame.

And it’s the place where true empowerment lives.

What Message Are You Giving to Yourself?

When you decide to take action to improve your life, you give yourself a message:

You matter.

Your happiness matters.

It’s important.

You are important.

And you value yourself enough to do something about it.

It’s Up to You

The only person who’s behaviour we can control and change is our own.

It’s not about waiting for your husband to act.

It’s not about ‘blaming’ him.

It’s about YOU taking care of YOU.

Your happiness is in your hands.

And that’s the best news.

Are you ready to reclaim it?

If so, read on, I have something that can help you do just that.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Telling yourself the truth is scary. I get it. I’ve been there. That’s why it’s essential to get the right support as you do this important work on yourself.

And that’s exactly what I’m offering in my brand new group experience, The Untethered Wife.

I’ll show you how to uncover the truth of what you truly want in your life and marriage now.

Then you can decide what you want to do with that information.

You can choose to stay in your marriage, or to leave, from a place of feeling empowered.

You can choose from love.

Instead of from fear. Or resentment. Or powerlessness.

We start 12th September for eight weeks.

You’ll be in good company.

I promise you won’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

You’ll get expert coaching and support from somebody who’s been in your shoes (that would be me.)

You’ll also have the support and encouragement of like-minded women on a similar journey to you.

Registration closes 9th September.

If you’re ready to join us, you can sign up here.

Have a Question?

If so, contact me at Julie@JulieMarah.com and ask me anything. I’ll give you my honest answer.

And if you’d like a no-obligation complimentary 30 minute Skype chat to find out if The Untethered Wife is right for you, get in touch and we’ll schedule it.

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