Stop Waiting

I had a lightbulb moment a while back.

You know, one of those realisations that seems so obvious.

Except it wasn’t, until that very moment.

It was this: I had been waiting.

Waiting…

  • To decide where to go next with my work
  • For something to happen in my personal life
  • For the right time to get divorced
  • For inspiration. Motivation. An invitation
  • For a sign I’m on the right path
  • To decide what next in my life

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

I know I’m not the only one.

And while we do all that waiting, there are the distractions.

Work. Kids. Home. Shopping. Busyness. Drama.

Technology.

Smartphone Distraction

One of the ways we distract ourselves is by spending incessant amounts of time checking our smartphones.

Checking email.

Scrolling Facebook.

Instagram.

As if our online world is suddenly going to provide that elusive ‘aha.’

As if suddenly we will know what to do.

And as if that knowing will give us permission to feel excited about our lives.

Looking Outward

Here’s what I noticed about all that waiting.

It causes us to feel unsettled. Uncertain. Bored even.

It’s outwardly focused.

It’s passive.

It places responsibility outside of ourselves.

It places our future in the hands of circumstances and other people.

Things we have zero control over.

It absolves us of the job of creating what we want in our lives.

So we wait for the perfect opportunity to land in our laps.

We wait for our husbands to stop being who they are, and morph into someone we want to be with.

We wait for the perfect body.

We wait for permission.

We wait until we’re ready.

We wait for our job or our relationship or our family to validate us.

To tell us we are enough.

To approve of us.

We wait for happiness to find us.

The Downside

The result of all that waiting?

It renders us powerless.

It stops us from getting on with the job of creating our best lives.

It turns us into victims of circumstance.

Until one day we wake up and realise we’ve wasted our one entire, precious life waiting.

The Alternative

Here’s what I decided in that aha moment:

Fuck waiting.

I’m done with it.

It was time to start creating.

And so I did.

I created a new group coaching programme.

I created amazing new 1:1 clients and helped them start creating their right lives.

I created a corporate coaching arm to my business.

I created a divorce (after seven years of waiting!)

I created a wonderful new relationship.

I created memories in Dorset, Cornwall, Spain, New York, France and Italy.

And more.

I’m still creating.

I don’t plan to stop.

The Risks

Did everything and will everything I create turn out rainbows and butterflies?

Of course not.

I created a lot of what I didn’t want on the way to what I did ( and will continue to do so.)

That’s the reality for all of us.

We’re going to stumble and fall and fail along the way.

Again and again.

Sometimes we’re going to realise the job/relationship/friendship/business we poured our hearts and souls into isn’t everything we thought it would be.

We’re going to feel let down. Disappointed. Downhearted.

We’re going to risk breaking our own hearts.

We’re going to feel like we’ve taken one step forward and two steps back.

We’re going to make choices other people may not agree with or approve of.

We’re going to be tested and challenged and criticised.

We’re going to have to leave the safety of our comfort zones.

Not just once.

Over and over again.

The Rewards

It takes courage to stop waiting.

It takes trust and faith and belief in ourselves.

Trust and faith and belief we have to build during the process of creating.

We’ll be waiting forever if we wait for the confidence and self-belief to arrive before we get started.

We have to start before we’re ready.

Why it’s Worth it:

We get to decide who we want to be and what we want for ourselves.

We get to take our power back.

We get to evolve into the next best version of who we really are.

We get to give ourselves permission to create our best lives – without apology.

We get to stop waiting for someone else to save us.

We get to save ourselves.

We get to participate in our own rescue.

Join Me?

So, please. Join me.

Stop waiting.

Start creating.

The first step?

Decide.

It’s time.

Your time.

My time.

Let’s do this.

Want my Support to Stop Waiting and Start Creating in your Life and Marriage?

If you know it’s your time to Stop Waiting, get in touch to arrange a confidential 30 minute Mini Clarity Session.

We’ll explore if my approach is right for you and you’ll gain some clarity on your situation.

What are you waiting for? 😉

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8 Comments

  1. Yes! Fuck waiting! Yes! I have been doing this too. I see it. When I read this, I was shaking my head – yes, yes, yes. And I am read to start creating too! Thanks for this post – it’s the inspiration and kick in the butt I needed 🙂

    • Thank you Deb – reading your comment made me laugh out loud! So glad it resonated with you – it was the kick in the butt I needed too! 🙂 Here’s to creating!

  2. Waiting for someone else to change is a waste of your precious life. I’m working on my change. And yes it takes courage. Lots of it. Well said Julie.

    • Thank you Gill. You certainly do have courage and I know how hard you are working to create your life on purpose. x

  3. Excellent article Julie …. I don’t think we realise how much we wait and how much time we waste doing it … It’s a good reminder to get going and stop procrastinating !!!!

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