“I’m not attracted to him now.”
“He doesn’t make me feel the way I want to feel.”
“I would leave him but I don’t want to turn my life upside down.”
Should I settle for this life with him – is it enough?”
So many women are frustrated and dissatisfied in their marriages.
They are questioning whether they still want to be with this man they married.
They feel differently about him now.
Married life no longer feels the way it once did.
It’s become mundane. Tedious even.
The prospect of years of this same-ol’ same-ol’ stretching out ahead feels uninspiring to say the least.
They no longer feel emotionally connected to their husbands.
He feels more like a house-mate than a life-partner they are excited to share their lives with.
Aspects of his behaviour and personality grate and at times drive them insane.
If He Would Only Change Who He Is
What has changed?
He’s just being who he’s always been.
And as much as you want to, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t change him.
Changing him is out of your control.
Might as well give it up.
The Good News
In better news..
There’s only one thing that needs to change if you want to be happy in your marriage.
Not always easy.
But entirely possible. And completely within your control.
The reason you feel differently about your husband now?
Is because you are thinking different thoughts about him now.
And because your thoughts always create your emotions.
You no longer feel the way you once felt or want to feel.
Your negative thoughts are creating your negative emotions.
And negative emotions will always create negative results in your life.
I Didn’t Plan It – It Just ‘Happened’
We talk about finding ourselves here as though it’s out of our control.
As though it just ‘happened’ to us.
We are always choosing our thoughts. Whether consciously or unconsciously.
And our thoughts drive everything.
And if you’re reading this and finding it hard to believe that it’s actually possible to change the way you feel about your husband.
We’ve all heard of couples who get divorced only to later remarry.
We’ve all heard of ex-wives who suddenly want their husband back when they see him with a new partner. Suddenly he becomes VERY attractive again.
I know of women who’ve divorced their husbands, remarried and then had an affair with their former husband.
How could this be?
How could they suddenly want to re-marry this man? Or want him back more than anything? Or cheat on his replacement by having an affair with him?!
How could they suddenly find him attractive again?
Because they changed the way they were thinking about him.
They chose to think different thoughts.
And those different thoughts changed the way they felt about their once despised ex.
And those different thoughts and feelings caused them to behave differently towards him.
Creating different results.
Where to Start with YOUR Husband?
Here are 10 questions to get you started:
1) What are the thoughts you are currently choosing to believe about your husband?
2) How do those thoughts make you feel and act towards him?
3) What results do these thought and feelings create in your relationship?
4) Is it the result you want?
5) Why are you choosing these thoughts? Really think about this. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we are always choosing our thoughts.
6) Where are you blaming him and not taking responsibility for your own life and happiness?
7) What are you making his behaviour mean about you, about him and about your marriage?
8) How do you want to feel about your husband?
9) What is the result you want to create in your marriage?
10) What would you need to think and believe in order to have those feelings and create that result?
Maybe after reading this, you’ve realised you don’t want to change your thoughts about your husband.
Good to know.
Ask yourself why.
Maybe you have very good reasons – ones based on fact, not the ‘stories’ your mind has created to find evidence for your thinking.
Maybe you don’t.
You are always at choice.
You can choose to stay married and keep your painful thoughts.
You can choose to stay married and change your thoughts to ones that feel better and are aligned with the results you want to create.
You can choose to fall out of love with your husband.
Or you can choose something else.
What will it be?
Ready to Change Your Thinking to Get the Results You Want in Your Marriage?
If you’re ready to look inside your mind and question the thinking that is giving you unwanted results in your marriage, get in touch and request a FREE 30 minute Clarity Breakthrough Session.