There’s a common misconception amongst us women that
we should be able to figure out the solutions to all of life’s myriad challenges and problems by ourselves. It’s part of the job description for being a ‘strong, independent woman’ isn’t it?!
In certain situations, we believe that asking for help somehow makes us appear weak – to ourselves, other people and the person we’re asking for the help from.
By definition, it means ‘outing’ ourselves and admitting we don’t have all the answers and we’re not in fact Super Woman.. (truth alert – we don’t and we aren’t – it’s okay to lay down the cape!)
But here’s what I know: this belief is bullshit.
And it’s a surefire way of keeping ourselves stuck and frustrated.
Pretending and hiding and avoiding is easy. We all know how to do that. (We also know the toll it takes on our peace of mind and emotional wellbeing.)
But admitting to ourselves that we need help, and then asking for it? That’s not so easy.
That takes courage and the willingness to be ‘seen’ as a vulnerable, fallible, human being.
It takes a willingness to remove the shiny ‘I’ve-got-it-all-together’ and ‘everything is fine’ mask we all love to wear.
Taking off that mask and revealing our vulnerability? That is the definition of courage and bravery.
And in my experience, those qualities take great strength.
Being willing to risk our ego, step outside our comfort zone and ask for the help we need takes strength of character.
And any time we do that we should applaud ourselves and acknowledge our strength – not beat ourselves up for it!
I have two questions for you today:
1. How willing are you to ask for the help you need?
2. If you know you need help right now – what is stopping you from asking for it?
And a challenge…
My Challenge to You
If there’s something keeping you stuck and frustrated in your life or marriage right now, here’s what I want you to do:
1. Leave a comment below and tell me about ONE specific challenge you’re struggling with that you’d love some help on in order to move forward. (If you prefer you can email me instead.)
My commitment to you is that I will personally respond with 1-3 tips on how you can begin moving forward in this area now.
2. If there is somebody that you know can help you with something specific (e.g. a work colleague, your boss, your husband, a friend) and you have been afraid to ask them: Take the plunge and decide to JUST DO IT.
Write it in your diary, arrange a meeting, send an email, make the phone call – you know what you need to do!
If you’d like some accountability, email me at Julie@JulieMarah.com and let me know what you’re planning.
And in the spirit of walking my talk (which I aspire to do and don’t always succeed at!) I’m going to ask for your help too…
Here is my request:
Please share this post with a woman you know who is struggling with living true to herself in her life and marriage, and recommend that she joins my mailing list. And if that woman is you – just enter your details below!
Why? Because the more women I have on my mailing list, the more women will know about my work and the more women I can help. In order to grow my coaching practice I need to ask the people who support my work to help me spread the word – and that makes me feel vulnerable, but I’m doing it anyway! Thank You! 🙂
Whenever you ask for help, remember to acknowledge yourself for your willingness to be vulnerable – being brave is not for the weak or faint-hearted!
Finally, Congratulate yourself on having just taken the first, and often hardest, step to becoming unstuck in this particular area of your life. And then take the next step. And the next. And remember that clarity comes from taking action!
What do you say? I’d love for you to accept the challenge – and let me know about it!
Are you IN?