Personal: What I Hold True

I have a different flavour of blog post for you this week.

If you’re anything like me, you like to feel connected in your relationships – even your virtual ones!

Many of the readers of my Newsletter and Blog have been with me for a couple of years or more now – Thank You for your loyalty!

And there are a lot of new ladies who have more recently joined my community – again Thank You, and Welcome!

[If you’d like to join us and receive my musings directly into your Inbox, please sign up below – you’d be most welcome!]

So, I thought now might be an opportune moment to connect with you on a more personal level.

And to share something about the beliefs that drive me as a woman, and particularly the work I do in my Empowered Choices, Empowered Woman programme.

I’ve also included a very recent photo taken on my trip to New York a couple of weeks back, when I spent a brilliant week with my fabulous friend Amy!

I think the photo does a pretty good job of conveying where I’m at in my life now – which couldn’t be more different to where I was when I made the painful decision to leave my marriage several years ago.

What I truly believe and know in the depths of my soul now is the result of many things…

It’s a unique combination of my personal life experiences from my 22 year marriage, the excellent trainings I’ve invested in to become the Coach I am today, and my journey so far on the other side of my marriage.

And of course, all of the amazing women I’ve had the absolute privilege of supporting and guiding with my coaching in recent years.

I am profoundly grateful for all of my teachers for getting me to this point (including the very painful lessons learned from my marriage!), living this life and doing the work I love that is mine to do.

All of these things have shaped the woman, and coach, I am today and the beliefs I now hold true…

I believe:

  • Real happiness is only possible when you’re living true to yourself, without apology
  • We each deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life, and we have everything we need within us to create that for ourselves
  • The truth always feels better than a lie, even when it’s hard to hear
  • Our thoughts and beliefs are choices that create our reality
  • Other people’s behaviour, including our husbands, is not the cause of our unhappiness. Our thoughts create our emotions, always  – and that is the best news
  • The biggest obstacle we will ever have to overcome, ever, is our own minds
  • Transformation is an inside job – you can’t transform your life or your marriage until you first transform yourself
  • When we’re ready to step into the next version of who we are really are, change can happen in an instant
  •  It’s okay to give ourselves permission to leave a marriage we aren’t happy in – as long as we’ve done our own work and it’s from a place of self-responsibility. And it’s okay to fully own our decision
  • I can’t possibly know if you should stay in your marriage or leave. But I do know how to guide you to your own answers – that’s my expertise
  • Should I Stay in my Marriage or Should I Leave is the WRONG question. Instead, ask yourself: Who am I now and what do I actually want? Answer THAT question fully and the marriage dilemma takes care of itself
  • The only person who’s opinion, and approval, truly counts, is our own
  • We teach other people how to treat us by the behaviours we tolerate. And what we tolerate is a direct reflection of how much we love and value ourselves
  • Our happiness and emotional wellbeing is our responsibility and ours alone – it’s not our husband’s, or anybody else’s, job to fulfill our needs
  • We can create our lives and marriages by design – or let them happen by default
  • We are not a victim of our marriage circumstances, unless we choose to be. We can take our power back whenever we decide to
  • It’s not achieving the goal or making the change that’s important, it’s who we become on the way to achieving it that counts
  • We can overcome any fear or obstacle in our path if we just trust ourselves enough and commit to moving forward, one tiny, baby step at a time
  • We are each capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for – we are amazing!
  • In order to have a happy, healthy relationship, we must first have a happy, healthy life and relationship with ourselves

Your Turn

What do you think – do you share some of my beliefs?

What are the beliefs that guide your life?

What do you want for your life and your marriage now – and what is standing in the way of you getting that?

What’s the next baby step you can take to move you forward towards where you want to be?

If you feel inclined to share, I’d love to hear your thoughts – please get in touch.


Want Support Figuring Out Who You Are Today and What You Actually Want for your Life and Marriage Now?

If you’d like professional, unbiased support gaining clarity on how to move forward in your life and marriage now, from a woman who’s been in your shoes, please sign up below for immediate access to my free Mini Guide: Stay Married or Leave? A Five Step Guide Before You Decide.

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