The Link Between Worthiness and Deserving


The dictionary defines it as: “The quality or state of having merit or value.”

How worthy do you feel?

Do you believe some people are more or less worthy than others?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and pondering the link between worthiness and deserving.

Do people who have a strong sense of worthiness believe they are deserving of love, happiness, a great relationship, career success, or whatever it is their hearts desire?

In short, do these people believe they deserve a great life?

Let’s unpack worthiness.

When we really examine this word through the lens of it’s true meaning, it becomes simple.

More or Less Worthy?

Do we believe that every new born baby has equal worth and value?

Do we believe that each of our children is equally valuable and worthy?

Do we believe that the person serving us coffee (or tea!) in our local café has less value, is less worthy, than us, the customer?

Do we believe we are more or less worthy than the other people sitting in the café around us?

When we ask these questions through the lens of the word’s true meaning, the answers are laughably obvious.

Of course we all have equal, inherent value.

Just by virtue of being born and because we are living, breathing beings.

We are all equally worthy.

Regardless of our background, our accomplishments, our successes, our failures, our financial status, our relationship challenges.

And yet..

I’ll Be Worthy When…

How many of us believe, on such a deeply ingrained level that we’re not even consciously aware, that we will be so much more worthy when we achieve x or do y – or get ‘there’ (wherever ‘there’ is)?

And that brings us to self worth – “The sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.”

You know. “I’ll be worthy and good enough when I’ve..”

  • Got a happy, successful relationship
  • Earned more money, got the promotion, achieved the business success
  • Lost the weight
  • Been recognised as a success by my father/mother/sister/husband/peers/employer

And is there a  link between our sense of worthiness – our self-worth – and our beliefs about what we deserve in life?

Absolutely yes.

And that link, for each one of us, is staring us in the face.

Look at Your Life

To find the link, just look at your life.

Look at your relationships – all of them. Your environment. Your work. How you treat yourself. How you allow others to treat you.

Everything you have in your life currently is there as a result of what you believe you deserve.

And it will remain so for as long as you hold those beliefs.

Do you believe you deserve a happy, fulfilling, loving, connected relationship?

Do you believe you deserve a beautiful, well ordered, harmonious home?

Do you believe you deserve an amazing career with the financial success to match?

Do you believe you deserve to have your needs met and respected?

Do you believe you deserve the very best that life has to offer you – all the happiness and success you dream of?

“But I Don’t Deserve This!”

Maybe you disagree with me.

Maybe you think you don’t have the relationship you deserve. Maybe you think you deserve better.

And you may be right.

And when you truly believe that.

Your life will change.

Your relationship with change.

To reflect what you believe you deserve – now.

It can’t be any other way.

Your outer life is a reflection of your inner belief system.

What Have You Been Believing?

What have you been believing about what you deserve?

Where did those beliefs originate?

And are those beliefs still serving the person you are today?

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  1. Great advice to look at your life and determine if you feel worthy of what you have. When I answered your questions I surprised, I do feel worthy, I’m very happy, and I’m excited for the future!

  2. Julie, This question has been on my mind because there are some places where I’m not seeing what I thought I believed. Consciously I know that at a soul level everyone and I mean Everyone is equally worthy. The problems come in at the ego level and that always comes from a place of fear. I have lived my life knowing that the what shows up on the outside points to what is taking place on the inside. It keeps us honest, right? So when I see a discrepancy I go within to fix it. It’s always an inside job. Thank you for this reminder.

  3. It is sad how many of us walk through a good portion of our lives questioning our worthiness and accepting less than what we deserve. You’ve asked some good questions, Julie. Hopefully it will help others on their path to truly believing that they are worthy, exactly as they are (scars, cracks, and all).

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