You may have read the blog post and/or book:
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. I was familiar with the article and had read it maybe three or four times over the last couple of years. Today I received an invitation in my Inbox to watch a short interview with the author, Bronnie Ware (you can watch it here.)
In case you’re not familiar with how the article came about, Ware was a palliative care nurse for eight years, caring for the dying in the last weeks of their lives. As she sat with patients who were staring death in the face, they shared their poignant regrets about how they’d lived their lives, now that it was too late to make different choices.
Ware soon noticed a small number of common themes that appeared again and again in the stories her patients told her. And she realised that though every person’s story and circumstances were unique, their regrets all boiled down to five things. After leaving her career in palliative care, Ware started a blog and wrote a post about her experiences. That blog post was shared three million times in the first year after it was published, and eventually became a book.
It’s easy to see why the post struck a chord with so many. The subject matter forces us to examine our lives through the lens of our own mortality.
The No.1 Regret of the Dying Was This:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
When I watched this interview today the No.1 Regret hit me straight between the eyes in a way I hadn’t heard it before.
During the second half of 2015 I did a lot of soul-searching and self-reflection work to redefine the kind of coaching I want to do, and importantly, why I want to do it. As a result I uncovered the No.1 belief that drives everything I do. And it is this:
I believe we each have the right to lead a happy, fulfilling life living true to ourselves, without apology.
When I first uncovered this belief, I didn’t think it was particularly unique. After all, many people would share this view, wouldn’t they?
But what I realised is that the reason this core belief is SO central to my work is because I KNOW what it’s like NOT to live true to myself.
I know what it’s like to live a life that looks fabulous on the outside, but inside feels like a lie. I know what it’s like to believe other people’s happiness is somehow more important, and to believe you’re not allowed to have a voice and a choice.
And the women who need my help know what this is like too. Because they are currently living it.
I know what that kind of soul-sucking life feels like.
And how much I would have regretted it if I hadn’t found the courage to change my life.
And that’s WHY I’m so compelled to help other women find the courage to do the same – however living true to themselves looks for each of them.
I also know what’s currently true for some of you reading this right now. And that is:
While you WANT to believe that you too have the right to live your life being true to yourself, without apology – another part of you doesn’t fully believe you are ALLOWED to have it. Or what that life would even look like.
And even if you could imagine it, you don’t know HOW you could ever give yourself permission to live that life without feeling guilty and selfish for wanting it, let alone create it.
So today I’m going to ask you a difficult question:
Are you currently living true to yourself in your life and marriage?
If not, do you want to have this No.1 Regret on your deathbed?
If you don’t, the time to take action is Now, while you still can. Starting today. It’s time to stop living the life other people expect of you. This is YOUR life we’re talking about. Yours. It’s time to get over your fear and your self-doubt and your uncertainty and your misplaced feelings of guilt. And DO something.
If you’re ready to take action, I can help you take the first step. Read my Work with Julie page to find out how.
Or, if you would like to receive the very limited FREE coaching offer that is exclusively available to my subscribers, join my mailing list below. Once you have entered your details I will send you my latest Newsletter with all the info.
So. Are you ready to make the change that your 90 year old self will thank you for?
You can do it. And you don’t have to do it alone.
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PS – Because I know you want to know, here is the rest of the list of the Top Five Regrets of the Dying:
No. 2 – I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
No. 3 – I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
No. 4 – I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
No. 5 – I wish I had let myself be happier