I read that quote a few days ago.
At a time when I was feeling pretty uncertain about quite a few things – ha!
One thing is certain.
We will all face, and continue to face, the discomfort of uncertainty at various points throughout our lives.
We can count on it.
We resist it.
We avoid it.
We don’t like it. It’s uncomfortable. Our brains don’t like it. Our bodies don’t like feeling it.
Reaching a crossroads in our lives when we feel we have a major decision to make can trigger huge uncertainty.
A decision such as trying to decide whether to stay in our marriage or leave.
And of course uncertainty about a possible unknown future triggers all of our worst fears.
We dislike uncertainty so much that it can drive a sense of urgency to make a decision, just so we can make the discomfort we are feeling go away.
But making a reactive, knee-jerk decision can become a regretted decision.
And avoiding discomfort is not the basis on which to decide the future of your marriage, or to make any decision.
On the other hand, some of us will go to extreme lengths to avoid feeling uncertainty in the first place.
We stay stuck in marriages that we know in our hearts we are never going to be happy in.
Because even though it’s making us miserable, and negatively impacting our emotional health, it is familiar.
There is certainty. We know how to ‘do’ this marriage – even though it feels terrible.
It’s within our comfort zone.
What if, instead, we could welcome uncertainty? What if we didn’t resist it and avoid it?
What if we expected it as a normal part of life and of our personal growth?
What if we welcomed it?
The only certainties in life are those things that are already known. How boring would it be if we only ever dealt with what we know – we would never learn anything new or experience anything exciting!
What if we understood that uncertainty is just a feeling, a vibration in our bodies, created as a result of the thoughts we have been thinking? And no feeling or emotion can hurt us if we are willing to feel it!
What if the only thing standing in the way of us getting what we want is our willingness to sit with uncertainty?
What if getting comfortable with the discomfort of uncertainty is the first step to getting the clarity we seek about what we truly want, and how to get it?
What if uncertainty is a good thing?
The truth is, there is no growth without uncertainty. There is no stretching or developing or learning without the risk of what is not yet known.
The Fuel for an Amazing Life?
If you truly believed the quote at the top of this post, how might that alter your view on the role uncertainty plays in your life?
How would you approach a current challenge you are facing, whether marriage-related or something else, differently?
I’ll tell you a secret – sometimes I write these articles as a reminder to myself, as well as for my readers! As I said, I’ve been feeling my fair share of uncertainty lately. And I’m experimenting with seeing it as a positive thing. I’m viewing uncertainty as a signal to keep moving forward towards what I want, rather than allowing it to derail me into fear-based thinking. And that feels so much better already!
I’d love to know how this approach could benefit you.. Give it a try, then send me an email and let me know!
Want Support Navigating Your Uncertainty?
Are you trying to decide whether to stay in your marriage or leave and feeling the grip of uncertainty? If so, enter your details below for immediate access to my free Mini Guide: Stay Married or Leave? A 5 Step Guide Before You Decide.
In the Guide I explain that ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go?’ is the WRONG question to ask yourself. I’ll tell you what to ask instead and the five steps you must complete to gain the clarity you desire about the future of your life and marriage.