You may think I’m asking you to ponder this question in relation to your husband.
Nope. Not today.
That’s another question for another blog post.
What I want to ask you today is this:
Are you in love with your life?
What’s Love Got To Do With it?
Maybe it’s a question you haven’t asked yourself before.
And you may be wondering what loving your life has got to do with any struggles you’re currently experiencing in your marriage.
The answer – a lot.
When we’re not happy within ourselves and with our own lives, the easy option is to place the blame elsewhere.
To look outside of ourselves for something, or someone, to be the cause of our discontent.
And our husband is often the perfect candidate.
We point the finger at all the things he’s doing wrong.
We focus much, too much, of our time and energy on HIM and his behaviour. Behaviour that leaves us feeling frustrated and drives us insane!
And in the meantime. We wait.
The Waiting Game
We wait for him to change before we can be happy.
We tell ourselves a story that if only he would stop doing this, or start doing that, we could move ahead with our own hopes and dreams.
We could start that business, apply for that job, take that training, lose that weight.
Or perhaps we’ve been so busy focusing on him and his shortcomings that we haven’t even considered what we want to achieve for ourselves.
In short we put our lives, and our happiness, on hold.
And we wait some more.
For something exciting to happen.
For the phone to ring.
For a juicy project to land in our laps.
For our ideal career to materialise.
We wait for something, anything, to happen. Anything that will have us feeling excited and motivated again about our own precious life.
We wait for the universe to deliver a life that feels amazing.
And we feel frustrated and disillusioned when it doesn’t. And we wait some more.
Filling the Void
And while we wait we attempt to fill the gaping void with our distraction of choice.
Food. Alcohol. Shopping. Work. An affair. Busy-ness.
Instead of figuring out what brings us the most joy.
Instead of figuring out what makes us feel most alive.
Instead of reaching for our own goals and owning our dreams and desires.
And doing more of that.
We wait in the safety of our self-righteous comfort zones.
If only HE wasn’t doing this or causing us to feel that, we could achieve so much.
We could be happy.
And even though it feels shitty, it’s familiar.
And our minds wrongly equate that familiarity with safety.
And one day we wake up and wonder what went wrong.
We wonder how we ended up with this bland, unfulfilling, disconnected life we’re living.
We wonder how and why it turned out this way.
We tell ourselves it wasn’t supposed to be this way.
What if it doesn’t have to be that way?
What would it be like to fall madly in love with your life again?
Instead of waiting.
What are you waiting for?
Ready to Stop Waiting?
If you’re ready to stop putting your life and happiness on hold and start creating a life you love, head over to the Work with Julie page and check out the Empowered Choices, Empowered Woman Programme.