Who Are You Now?

Who am I nowWife.
Mother.
Homemaker.
Business owner/career professional.
Mover. Shaker.
Daughter.
Carer of aging parents perhaps.
Sister.
Sibling.
Friend.

Woman.

Who Is She?

But just who is the woman beneath the myriad roles and faces she wears?

Who is she now?

What does she yearn for?

She’s not the bride who walked down the aisle all those years ago.

That was a lifetime ago.

She’s not that person anymore.

The woman she is now is in there somewhere.

Underneath all of those faces she paints on and smiles at the world with.

The Whispers of YOU

She hears the woman whispering to her.

In those brief moments when her mind is quiet enough to hear.

And the whispers are getting louder.

But the busy-ness of life keeps her from exploring those questions:

“Who am I now?”

“What do I really want?”

“What gives me the most joy?”

“What else do I dare to dream is possible for me in this life?”

And she is afraid to answer those questions.

Because what if she doesn’t like the answers?

What then?

The Distractions

So instead she focuses on the juggling. And keeping all of the balls in the air.

Kids. Work. Home. Parents. Friends. Responsibilities.

She manages it. Most of the time.

And she focuses on her husband. Mostly on his misgivings.

If only he would do X (appreciate her more, help with the kids more, be less selfish – just add your own particular flavour of X here).

THEN she could be happy and life would be good.

And of course he never does do X.

For some unfathomable reason he just won’t behave according to the ‘Rule Book’ she has in her head for him. No matter how hard she tries to ‘make’ him change.

And her stuckness and her frustration endures.

And the whispers that call to her from somewhere deep within her soul continue. Unanswered.

So she distracts herself with the busy-ness of life until she can barely hear them anymore.

And the vicious cycle continues.

Frustrated in her marriage.

Frustrated in her life.

And truth be told – what she’s most frustrated with. Herself.

Because, try as she might, she can’t drown out the whispers.

They want to be heard.

And, beneath the fear, she really wants to hear them.

Because she knows. She has so much more to give. So much more to be.

Breaking the Cycle

The answer is simple.

But not necessarily easy.

It takes courage.

A willingness to acknowledge the fear and be willing to walk through it.

A willingness to Stop. And to Start.

To Stop focusing on your husband’s shortcomings. Grant him permission to be who he is.

To Start putting the focus back on to YOU. Where it belongs.

Listen to the whispers.

Answer the questions.

Take time to get to know you.

The woman you are today.

Not the wife. The mother. The carer.

The woman.

Listen to her. Liberate her. Set her free.

Give her permission to be heard.

Give her permission to be who she is at her core.

She is amazing, I promise you.

And she will amaze you.

If you let her.

 

Ready to Put the Focus Back on to YOU?

Are you ready to start putting the focus back onto you and stop allowing your marriage frustrations to sabotage you? If so take the first step by booking a Free 30 Minute Clarity Breakthrough Session with me in September.  What have you got to lose?

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12 Comments

  1. Really beautifully put!! I love the, “give her permission to be who she is” so many people I know are exactly in the situations you described above and if they only trusted in themselves and own who they truly are, they would learn to see who truly amazing they are!! 🙂

    • Thanks for commenting Aimelie. Yes, it’s amazing how many of us let fear hold us back from exploring who we really are and answering these questions for ourselves, isn’t it?

  2. Well done Julie. I wish I had run into you a few years ago, you might have made my transition to today a bit easier. I have walked the path though, and there is happiness on the other side. I encourage women to take the reigns and find themselves again. There is nothing more empowering.

    • Thanks for taking the time to comment Lorna and for sharing your personal experience. It takes courage to do this transformational work but as you have experienced there is increased happiness on the other side. And I agree there is nothing more empowering!

  3. Beautiful, Julie. I’ve only recently started to answer the questions – was VERY stuck in the busyness for several years. It’s been wonderful and difficult at times to get to know myself again. But so so worth it!

    • Thank you for your comment Andrea. Yes, it’s very easy to distract ourselves with being busy isn’t it! Glad to hear you have got past the stuckness and been able to get to know yourself again. As you say, it’s so worth it!

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