Why we want more confidence and self-belief

I coached a lovely client last week about the next steps she wants to take in her career.

She had lots of fear and self-doubt around stepping up and being more visible.

She was questioning her ability to help her clients.

She’d taken a short break from work to deal with a stressful family situation (in the midst of a pandemic) and was temporarily forgetting about all the goodness she has to offer.

Aside from the break, she hadn’t yet ‘perfected’ the thing she teaches, she said.

She still struggles with it herself, sometimes.

She had lots of ‘who am I to be doing this?’ thoughts.

I coached her through why she is the exact right person to be doing this.

Her right clients will find her real and relatable precisely because she’s been where they are now. And they’ll love her even more when she shares that she still slips back sometimes – because, uh, she’s human!

She was forgetting the wealth of knowledge, training, experience, wisdom, tools and concepts she has to share.

Wisdom that can help women feel happier and more at home in their bodies. The same tools she uses on herself.

I asked her WHY she wanted to help these women?

What was compelling her to do this work, despite the obstacles and challenges, the fear, the self-judgement, the self-doubt?

What was her Big Why?

After a bit of digging we hit gold:

“If I can help mums feel better about themselves in their bodies, they’ll be happier – and then their children will be happier.”

I got goosebumps.

She said she wanted to cry.

We’d touched on something really important to her, and we both felt it.

It was a beautiful moment.

A big ‘aha.’

I asked her:

If you could help even one mum feel happier in her own body and model self-acceptance to her children ~ particularly girls ~ and because of that, make her kid’s lives happier – would the fear and self-doubt around putting yourself out there, be worth it?

Would it be worth taking imperfect action to build your experience, confidence and self-belief, so the women who need you can find you?

Would it be worth trying things that might not work the first time, or the fifth time – and risking ‘failure?’

A big Yes.

This next level of my client’s life and career is demanding a different version of her, as Mr. DiCaprio so wisely said.

Our Big Why

The women I coach have myriad reasons for wanting more confidence, courage and belief in themselves.

Every woman’s Big Why is personal to her.

It doesn’t need to be ‘big’ in grandiose terms. Just important to her.

It may be because she wants to thrive in the senior corporate position she’s been newly promoted into, that feels like a giant step out of her comfort zone.

It may be because she want to move to the next level in her business, or even start the business she’s been dreaming of for years.

It may be because she’s reached midlife, and wants to give herself permission to finally prioritise herself and her own needs, and do more of what she loves.

Or something else entirely.

Doing the personal growth work of becoming the next version of who we are capable of being is not for the faint-hearted. But it’s completely worth it.

Our Big Why is the rocket fuel that can propel us forward and provide the courage to take scary, imperfect action.

What’s yours?

Our ‘Next’ Future Self

It’s time for my client to step into, and become her ‘next’ Future Self.

What does this mean – who is our ‘next’ Future Self?

It’s the version of you that you’d love to be 3-6 months from now.

The uplevelled, ‘seems-just-out-of-reach-but-possible’ you, that you know you are capable of being – if it weren’t for the incessant voices in your head holding you back.

The key to becoming her is adopting her beliefs and mindset now – before external circumstances align.

It’s simple to say and not so easy to do.

This is the work I do with my 1:1 clients. If you’d like to explore working with me, get in touch to arrange a free consult.

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